Writer Becomes So Eloquent He's Now Incoherent! 🤯
Writer Becomes So Eloquent He's Now Incoherent! 🤯
He even uses the word esoteric.
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Austin, TX — According to locals, Charlie Gordon has raised his vocabulary beyond coherence and they want him to bring it back down. Charlie used to be unintelligible for having the vocabulary of a 2 year old. Now he’s unintelligible for having the vocabulary of a literature professor.
“Yeah could he find something in between? What is wrong with him?” -Carlos Murphy
Many blame it on his recent penchant for philosophy.
“Yeah, he just grabbed this philosophy book and started talking about epistemology. I told him yeah the pandemic is over X. Chillout. Then he just started staring at his hand and muttering, ‘You haven’t read about solipsism. Is this real? Can my hand truly be real if it cannot think?’ I knew he lost it right then.” -Malaria Johnson
Then he started a Substack and it made things much worse.
“We’re trying to make him quit. It’s truly brought out the worst in him. He won’t even take care of his mouse Algernon. He’s sleeping in his cage all day.” -Mrs. Gordon (Charlie’s mom)
We asked Charlie what he thinks.
“Fundamental aspects of the local collective consciousness are unfortunately predisposed to asinine panic. This is typical for ingrates that I consider the lower quartile of intellect for a third world country. These intellectual pismires feel threatened by recent propulsions concerning my own cognitive capacities. Unfortunately accelerations made in my personal acuity are possibly overextending cranial limitations. Benefits of higher ordered intellect far outweigh risks inherent to overclocking the mind. Rapidity of knowledge consumption remains the only logical…”
It was then Charlie fainted. We revived him and asked him how he felt.
“Who you? Me want coke.”
If you know a friend whose vocabulary is too large, send this to them. Let them know about possible complications associated with it.
So…
Have you ever met anyone too eloquent to be understood?
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****I’ll restack the best “Restack with a note” I see!
This could be an article on The Onion
Wish people would speak plainly. I learned a long time ago, that high-brow vocabulary is a tactic to discourage dissent, or intimidate would-be debaters. All of these fucks have a very simple (or convoluted) point they’re trying to make. Advanced vocabulary does nothing for your point. We get it: you’re smart. Smart people have dumb takes. Smart people have good takes. Transmit them plainly. Stop killing intellectual boners.
Be better. Be simple in your speech.