White Sox Set Loss Record. Introduce $50 Play for a Day!

They even offer a senior discount!

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Chicago, IL — Well the time has finally come. Jerry Reinsdorf’s Southside Missmen have finally done the impossible. They set the record for the worst season of all time. Since attendance at Sox games are rivaling that of the local independent league Chicago Dogs, they are offering a promotion! (Seriously go to a Chicago Dogs game if you can. They are a lot of fun!)

$50 and you can be a White Sox player! Show up to the park and the first 40 fans get to play! They even offer senior discounts of 50% off!

This promotion has been going on for awhile now and has been very well received by fans. The White Sox’ batting average raised .100, their ERA dropped by 2, and they swept the Angels! They have even found some key pieces going forward.

Here are some of the star players:

The Bashin’ Busia! Cleans up the bases and dishes.

Hard throwin’ Tommy Timmons! Throwing paper wads has finally paid off!

Tough Trisha has been managing. She’s on the left.

Silvia the Human Vacuum won’t let any ball past her. Possibly a future umpire?

Update: Jerry just traded them.

So…

• Are you excited for this promotion?

• What do you think about the losing season?

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