The REAL 12 Books That are Dating Red Flags!

"I’ve seen more red flags than a Chinese military parade..."

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Jun 10, 2025

A certain article has been causing a bit of an uproar recently regarding books that are dating red flags. As a single immortal Greek goddess that has been dating for the last 6,000 years let me tell you I am an EXPERT on red flags. I’ve seen more red flags than a Chinese military parade or a NASCAR race full of blind high school freshman.

Spider-Man leaning on concrete brick while reading book — Just your average, everyday guy reading! (Unsplash/Road Trip with Raj)

So without further adieu, here are the REAL dating red flags that women need to watch out for in men (spoilers!):

Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling - If they identify with Voldemort it is not ok. It’s much better they identify with the middle school child, Harry Potter.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - HUGE red flag. It means that if he is framed for a crime, assumed dead, and comes back as a billionaire after you have married the man who ruined his life and had children with him… he will dump you! Sad!

Dune by Frank Herbert - He will probably be rich but have a serious drug problem that he claims makes him more productive. 80% chance he works on Wall Street. 19% chance he works for the East India Trading Co. and deals SPICE.

You don’t want him trying to catch a sandworm for work.

Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle - He actually admires Sherlock’s ignorance about the Earth revolving around the sun. You need a man who has intelligent heroes!!!

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie - Do you really want to date an influencer…

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card - Imagine how he’s going to raise your kids??? Like some ultimate genius killing machine??? Psycho!!!

Atomic Habits by James Clear - He wants to build a bomb in his basement.

Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg- He wants to shrink you like Honey I Shrunk the Kids!!!

Sun Tzu’s Art of War by ~~Greg~~ Sun Tzu - He’s so stupid he thought this book was about art but it’s about war!!! Ingrate!!!

The War of Art by

Steven Pressfield

- He’s so stupid he thought this book was about war but it’s about art!!! Pismire!!!

The Iliad by Homer - Many problems with this. He will probably say he is reading it for the fighting scenes and because he thinks Ajax the Great is the coolest mortal ever but he is lying. He probably likes the goddesses! They are very attractive and charismatic! (Don’t worry, they are also very humble and don’t go out with mortals… except for the times that they do… DAD!!!)

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