Police Nab Deer Who Poached 12 yr Old Boy Out of Season 🦌
Boy is unharmed and avoided weeding the garden.
Satire News from The Comedy Muse! Subscribe to never miss a story!
Big Island, OH — The family of Al Wayzino-Werkingi was shocked Sunday, when a herd of deer returned him to their home. They were worried something terrible happened when he didn’t come in for dinner after a 12 hr weeding marathon.
We asked Al what happened:
“Well it was a Saturday and my dad wanted me to weed the garden like usual. I’ve spent so much time out there that the animals have become accustomed to me.
In fact, they have accepted me as their own and I am now fluent in mouse, deer, rabbit, squirrel, and several species of birds. I was talking to Thunderantlers, the leader of the local deer herd and asked that I may meet his family. When I hopped on his back I didn’t realize he was bringing me to meet his entire extended family. We had some things to eat, I accidentally passed out, and he returned me home.”
We talked to his dad and asked him what he thought:
“I told him when he goes out with his friends that he needs to be back by dinner! His mom made a great meal for him and the whole thing went to waste. Well it didn’t actually go to waste. His brothers and sisters ate it, but that’s not the point!”
We also talked to the mom:
“I told his father that weeding for 12 hours wasn’t good for him! Now he’s fallen in with the local hooligans and avoiding chores!”
Then we talked to the police officer:
“According to the DNR, Al is not allowed to have extended meals with deer out of season. Even in season, he’s only allowed to visit the immediate family of the local deer leader. Anything more is above the limit. Even though Al is a minor we expect him to cooperate in the future.”
We asked Al if he learned his lesson:
“Squeeky squeek? (Click cliclick click clickickick.) CACAW CAW CAW! AAA A AAAAA AAAAAAAA!!!”
Editor’s note: This is inspired by the times I had to weed Nonno’s garden by myself. Sometimes it felt like I spent so much time alone outdoors that I should be able to talk to animals!
Subscribe to never miss a story!
If you liked this, checkout:
Support My Work!
Your support helps me out a lot!
Buy Me a Coffee | Pantheon Pass⚡ | Crypto
Socials
Twitter | Reddit | thaliascomedy.com
Like, comment, and share to help me out!
Dr. Dolittle's successor in the making.
Reading this story made me think of another kind of weed . . .