NCAA Fires Writing Staff After Poor March Madness TV Ratings

"Two common TV mistakes: Duke Ex Machina and Gratuitous Fouls"

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Apr 15, 2025

*Editor’s Note: I didn’t look at the tv ratings. I just polled myself and was disappointed.

Indianapolis, IN — The NCAA has decided to fire its writing staff after a poorly rated March Madness season that many say was unrealistic or “jumped the shark.” We interviewed several fans at the college basketball championship to see their reaction:

“How is this not a charge right in front of the ref? I think we need to replace refs with robots or do a coin flip so they get it right sometimes.” — Chet Geepeetee (Purdue)

“What the heck man! I can’t believe they want me to feel bad for Duke. Why does Hollywood try to make every villain a sympathetic character? What’s with the over-the-back call with his arm at the guy’s waist? DUKE SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE VILLAIN!!!” — Carrie O’Lina (North Carolina)

“I bet they reboot the series and bring Christian Laettner and Mike Krzyzewski back.” — Rod Tentuhmateos (Houston)

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“As a professional movie critic, this last season made two common TV mistakes: Duke Ex Machina and Gratuitous Fouls. While many critics and directors love these tropes, the average audience member does not.” — F. Art Sumoliyay (Duke)

“So unrealistic. Purdue leaving a man open under the basket isn’t believable. These are college athletes and there is no way they make a mistake that only a middle schooler would make.” — Gene Keady (Purdue)

“I didn’t like the ball they used this season. Isn’t it supposed to be pointy on both ends?” — Fudd Ball (Houston)

I don’t know… I thought the finale was pretty sick!!!” — Flo Rida Mann (Florida)

In response to the blowback, the NCAA promised to make next season more realistic by hiring blind writers for the refs.

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