Hot Tub Death Machine Kills Matthew Perry

Shocking death details revealed

Friends star, Matthew Perry, died at the age of 54. According to our anonymous sources he was obsessed with traveling back in time to avoid witnessing the eventual remake of Friends. “It’s only a matter of time. I can feel it. If they can copy How I Met Your Mother that soon after it ended then Friends has to be coming soon.”, whispered Perry. According to our source, he was under the impression that Hot Tub Time Machine and Back to the Future were documentaries.

“If only Mohammed would get me the supplies I need. I don’t have a Dolorian but I do have a hot tub and if I could get the necessary gigawatts to time travel, I’ll be fine.”

We are not sure if Perry got the plutonium needed to achieve 1.21 gigawatts. His cause of death is unknown. We wish him well.