$17 Billion Cursed Shipwreck Discovered!

The location is DEFINITELY NOT REVEALED HERE

Colombia is going to begin retrieval of a $17 billion shipwreck in April. The San Jose was the flagship vessel of the Spanish fleet. It had approx. $17 billion of gold, silver and precious gems cursed by the Aztec Monkey god, Puflungatyu. He was the favorite god of Montezuma. Both are famous for their bowel related curses.

Uhhh ok not this much gold

Some historians say it was sunk by the British during the War of the Spanish Succession in 1708. Our insider sources, however, say they crashed trying to find the nearest rest stop because they just had some chimichangas that reeeeeeeally disagreed with them.

The US and Colombia have agreed to figure out who gets the money after it’s dug up because science and history are more important than $17 billion worth of treasure. 🤔

This is more like it

Update: Ours sources say the wreck is actually worth only $10 billion

Update 2: Make that $5 billion

Update 3: $4 billion

Update 4: $3 billion

Update 5: $2 billion

Update 6: $1 billion

Update 7: The Colombian government says they were wrong. There was no treasure there. Also they’d like to announce their new El Dorado: City of Gold Museum.

So…

1. What would you do with $17 billion?

2. Have your bowels ever been cursed by a spiteful god?

3. Does this seem like monkey business?

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